Love is Blind

I’ve heard that “love” is the hardest word to say. It’s right up there with aluminum. So instead of saying “I love you” on a regular basis, we’ve rationed those words so they only have to be said once a year—on Valentine’s Day.

Men all over the world rejoiced when V-Day became a regular holiday—as did Hallmark. Now, instead of daily tokens of love, these expressions can be reduced to a once-a-year love fest, complete with chocolates, a teddy bear holding a fuzzy heart and dinner at Texas Roadhouse. Because nothing says “true love” like prime rib.

There’s a murky history surrounding V-Day. No one’s quite sure where it originated but, from what I gather, it dates back 300 years to when St. Hallmark chased snakes out of a chocolate factory into a lingerie shop. Or something like that.

There are some people, men and women alike (men), who either downgrade the holiday by picking up a velvet rose and a pack of trail mix at 7-11, or going ridiculously overboard by training doves to play the violin while dropping rose petals from their beaks into a gondola where your loved one reclines on handmade pillows while floating in a pool of champagne.

Either way, you end up looking like a creepy serial killer.

And then there’s the problem of finding the perfect stuffed creature to represent your love. You have your usual stuffed bears, bunnies or kittens, but then you also have stuffed devils, lips, hearts, handcuffs and Viagra pills. If you’re not into stuffing, you can buy flying Cupids, love potions and erotic cupcakes. Hey, nothing’s too good for your sweetie.

Which brings me to the question: In our fast-paced society, does romance still exist? Or has it boiled down to sending an arrow-twanging Cupid to your significant other on Facebook? In our jaded culture, can love survive the Hollywood depiction that defines a relationship?

Example 1: Women say it’s tough to find a loving, mature, loyal man. But if you’re a chick-flick fan, all you need to find romance is to a) fall into a coma, b) pick up a serious (yet curable) illness, c) buy a dog, d) become a vampire or e) transform from a lunch lady into a trampy vixen. Shouldn’t be difficult. Once you’ve accomplished any (or all) of the above, love should be pretty easy.

Example 2: You know that a) nerdy, b) obnoxious, c) hygienically-challenged and/or d) clueless co-worker? Well, that’s probably your soulmate. Just ask Warner Brothers.

Another serious problem on V-Day: what if you forget? I’ve heard that love means never having to say you’re sorry. Seriously? Did a guy say that? Had to have been a guy. (Sidenote: How many women hope their husbands forget this holiday so they can cheerfully give their spouse the cold shoulder for the next month, manipulating him into buying even more gifts?)

My suggestion is, if you forget this love-addled celebration, say it was intentional because your love can’t be defined by normal societal conventions. Boo-yah! That’s called thinking on your feet.

And it’s easy for real love to get lost in all the holiday hoopla. (Sidenote: I’m so glad my daughters are out of elementary school so the required Guggenheim Valentine Box isn’t necessary. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve spent February 13 turning cereal boxes and spaghetti into a working V-Day robot.)

Don’t let expectations stop you from showing your loved ones you care. Sometimes, “I love you” is all that needs to be said. As long as it’s said while the two of you are touring France.